Thursday, December 13, 2007


Here is the piece i found n i think i should paste it here....

We all know impossible people. They tend to share three main characteristics: They cannot be reasoned with, they believe they can do no wrong, and they are convinced that everything is someone else's fault. If you haven't had some first-hand experience in dealing with such people, even a brief conversation can raise your blood pressure through the roof. These people may also be known to some as narcissists.

Ways to detect if you're dealing with someone with a personality disorder:

People either really love the person or really hate him/her (the former may even be the majority, in which case you may feel "crazy" or begin doubting your judgment);
You, and everyone else, note the person's "oversensitivity" and feel like you must walk on eggshells around that person;

The person rarely, or never, accepts responsibility for his/her own actions;

The person talks behind people's backs all the time and tries to pit people against each other, causing rifts (or splits); (SOOO TRUE)

The person appears unable to see the "grey area" in people--people are either good or bad (and one little thing can toss someone into their "bad books");

The person over-compliments you or other people all the time (tries to create alliances); (YES.... TRUE OSO)

The person has trouble with personal or professional boundaries (overshares, pries, dresses inappropriately, etc.);

The person has trouble holding an opinion--many people with personality disorders don't possess their own "personality" and you will see their opinions shift according to their environment; (hahahahhaaha... see...)

The person is highly influenced by external, environmental factors--their mood is a barometer based on goes on around them (for example, they interpret someone looking at them askew and it "ruins their day", but then someone compliments them and they are suddenly having "the best day ever", but then they misplace their keys, and their "day is ruined", etc.);

The person might complain about having trouble "being alone" or perpetually feeling "empty"; (once again...)

Drama always surrounds the person because the person creates it and constantly lives in a state of chaos.

Sound brutal? It is. So be sure to bail on that situation ASAP.

The person refrains from any type of communication - like a spoiled child - for hours or days. Sometimes you may not even be aware of what caused the person to stop communicating.

If you think you might be an impossible person yourself (or you have become one with regard to the other person), realize just how awful you are being and try to improve yourself. Then again, if you are really an impossible person, you won't even recognize yourself here LOL. To you, this page will be all about "the other guy." For the incorrigible impossible person, everything is always about "the other guy." If you're reading this page and thinking "Hey, that sounds just like [insert name of person you blame for everything]," you're probably one of the people I was talking about here (although you could never admit it).

If nothing else helps, resolve to treat your experiences with impossible people as valuable life lessons. Realize that after dealing with them for a while, getting along with everyone else will be a cakewalk. You are getting a free education in how to deal with the most difficult people out there. Although it is unpleasant now, the lessons you learn are going to be invaluable later in life.

It may also help to call a spade a spade and realize that you are dealing with an emotional abuser.
Recognize that, in the aftermath of a relationship with such a person, you may have some trouble relating normally with 'normal' people. Explain your involvement with this person and that it is now in your past, and seek their help in overcoming lingering feelings of self-doubt, bouts of low confidence, uncertainty, etc., that are the residual effects of years spent with an impossible person. YUCKS...

If you're having trouble coping, seek therapy. Keep in mind that therapy doesn't always involve sitting down in front of a psychiatrist, clinical social worker or psychologist. Do that if you need to, but don't hesitate to create your own forms of therapy as well.

Everyone wants attention from others, and usually these people couldn't get any positive attention during the major course of their life, so they instead act like a jerk to receive negative attention (but to them, through the negativity at least people now notice them). If they are wanting friendship, but don't know how to get it, and you are friendly to them, then they will appreciate what you are doing, and, best-case scenario, they will change. If they are just natural jerks who love to make others mad, then what you are doing will enrage them because they can't figure out how to make you mad, and eventually they will leave you alone. Kindness is always the key, even if it is insanely difficult to perform in various situations.
Some impossible people will see your kindness as a willingness to do any favor they ask. When this happens, kindly and regretfully decline, citing your reasons for denial. do not lie; it is better to be vague about your reasons. Lying, if discovered, will exacerbate your problems with this person (since, as stated above, they can simply pull your lie years later as more "evidence" for "blame" on you).

Don't disagree with them; find ways to be agreeable even if they are wrong (BUT I CAN'T BE AGREE WHEN U TELLING PEOPLE THAT i so engross to prove to ppl...that i RESORTED IN DEBT NOW N I SIGN ALL MY BAG?????.... and the hell told u that?? ME?... ERRR i heard that i'm buying all my thing to prove to a forum... GOSH.. u'r sooo sick). When Agreeing with impossible people sidetracks their steam as they realize that whatever they say you will agree with, as they continually look for arguments. Tell them "You are 100% right" or "I agree." You could even add humor and smile a bit as you agree with them, not so much for them as to keep you yourself at a low and patient level, away from falling back into anger and fuelling them even more.

Note that the most healthy way to deal with an impossible person is to remove that person from your environment. Do not torture yourself by exposing yourself to a destructive person. Do not put up with it. You are worth more than that. Remember that you cannot "fix" this person. (Now u re done and can go to hell.... i curse u!!)