My BFF describe me as a girl who know how to have fun.. great listener.. and she said that my advice and morale support is worth rather than meeting the professional counselor..
Its a word from a bff.. which is always positive because i know she is my best friend for ever.. We treasure our 12 years of friendship together. We’ve been in the almost the same situation.. When we were dating some guy, sometime its make us lost control.. the friendship had an up and down circumstances.. but we remains strong... When one of us going into trouble with the so called “our boyfriend” we support each other no matter what.. We grown up and choose our path.. our sense towards fashion is differences and sometime our judgments is not the same anymore. No matter what might change it won’t bother us.. coz deep inside we know we are made to be friend forever..
Sometimes we do talk about what will happen in 10 years time?. I bet she will definitely happily married and she said that i might be on the top of my career.. and maybe i’m just married at that time and still continue my passion towards handbags.. I laugh and can’t stop laughing... and then we stop... silence... our mind going elsewhere..
Then out of sudden she hold my hand.. I knew she will do this... there’s some tears inside her eyes... I’m not ready to face it yet.. i want to change the topic.. i want to run away... i just ignoring the situation.. pretending that i’m not aware of it...
Then the question pop out from her.. asking why am i like this.. i ask her back what??.. like what?... i’m not unscrupulous person kannn?.. (trying to make silly joke..)
I don’t know what to do... i don’t know the answer... the question still linger in her head...
This time is serious... she ask me.. why i don;t let myself be in a real happiness.. be in a real relationship.. and why i keep on saying that i’m single but in fact i do seeing someone... she get confuse.. dunno who is the real person that i love...
We already confront each other about guy topic... i’m not an easy person when it come into a relationship... i might be holding someone hand n watching movies together... and we laugh..... having a lot of fun...but when it comes to talk about feelings and future...I get an awful feeling inside...and I don't talk at all....and then there was a killing silence...between the struggle of this guy to talk with me...and my silence pretending that nothing is happening.
I don’t affraid of commitment.. but i don’t know why should i bother to have one.. i love to be in love.. to have an extra excited towards an attractive guy... but that is it... not more than that.. i don’t expect anything more than just having fun.. i really don't want to ruin the relationship ...but the need to escape is stronger...
So BFF.. i hope u will understand.. i’m not a perfectionist... but next to a perfect life is what i’m looking for,... couldn’t care less or more... CHEErsss..
